Thursday, October 16

  Muggle Studies

  Sirius is officially annoyed with me. Mostly because I was playing nothing but the Beatles all last night. I know he would have preferred the Weird Sisters, but I wasn’t in the mood for that. He’ll probably smash my guitar over my head to knock me unconscious later. Especially since I started singing along some just to annoy him some more. Admittedly, I probably shouldn’t have done that, but it was fun while it lasted.

  “James! Enough with the Beatles already!” he snapped from his four-poster. “What is that song, anyway?”

  “Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes, they call me on and on across the universe.”

  “Oh, I was curious but I regret even asking. Now stop singing.”

  “Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they, tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe.”

  “I get it. Shut up.”

  “Jai guru de va om. Nothing’s gonna change my world. Nothing’s gonna change my world.”

  “At least sing a different song!”

  “You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world. You tell me that it’s evolution.”

  “I meant something not by the Beatles! Merlin, I hate them.”

  “You’re going to upset quite a few Muggle-borns if you go around saying that,” I informed him. I was still strumming the chords to the song instead of singing it.

  “I didn’t used to hate them. You, however have changed me!”

  “Oh, so you secretly like them? Great! As I write this letter, send my love to you. Remember that I’ll always, be in love with you.”

  “Merlin, why didn’t you just sing to Lily instead?”

  “Because nobody in Hogwarts besides you three are supposed to know that I can play guitar, piano, and sing. I fully intend for them never to find out, too.”

  “Well you better stop playing tonight or else I will run out of this dormitory and scream it,” Sirius threatened. I grimaced.

  “Just one more?” I pleaded. He sighed and nodded.

  “In the town where I was born, lived a man who sailed to sea. And he told us of his life, in the land of submarines…”

  Peter and Remus enjoyed it. They sat quietly and would tap their foot or nod their heads along to the music. So my playing wasn’t completely hated. Sirius may or may not have enjoyed it, he was probably just in a crabby mood last night and is why he was so objected to it. It might also be because I drilled it in his brain permanently. How do I know this? When he was getting ready this morning, he was whistling a Beatle’s song. He stopped halfway through when it dawned on him what he was doing.

  “I hate you!” he screamed at me, throwing a shoe at my head. I dodged it. It’s not exactly wise to be in the same room as Sirius when he hasn’t had coffee yet.

  It was nice to play the guitar again, though. Mum knows me well.

A collection of quotes from my stories that people tell me they love over and over again.

“Oba, youin. Ilooktong,” Remus mumbled incoherently.

“What was that?” Sirius asked. He was grinning widely. He knew what Remus probably said. Remus lifted his head.

“OK, you win. I like Tonks,” Remus said quietly. Sirius punched a fist in the air triumphantly. Remus groaned and rested his head back in to his arms. He would never be hearing the end of this.- Remus In Denial

“With the way you two were going at it, “ interrupted Fred, “I’m surprised you didn’t throw each other out the window.”- Fight! Fight! 



“So you have a furry little problem? So what?”- I Confess, I Am A Werewolf 



Sirius was currently banging his head on his hand resting on the tabletop- What's Wrong With Remus? (sequel to Remus In Denial)



1. "No. The Goblin Impersonator Society meeting."
2. "Apparently, Lily left you and you were attempting to woo her through song." 
3. "You want me to call you Lily?"
4. "Surrender the chocolate, Lupin!”
5. "I’m basically writing everything down in this blasted di-completely manly journal!"
6. "And mum said you couldn’t learn how to win girls over from a book…" 
7. “You want Bertie to eat his cousin?”
8. “What if I fly during the daytime and Muggles look up?”
“UFO,” I replied simply.- The Completely Manly Journal of James Potter

Lily started to panic again at our tutoring session about Dumbledore coming to the meeting tomorrow.

  “So if you follow the instructions I just gave you-”

  “Oh, what is he planning on saying?”

  “-for the seventh time in the past half hour-”

  “It must be something very important seeing as how he’s the headmaster.”

  “-and no matter how much you beg me, I’m not giving you the damn instructions again-”

  “Nothing coming from him could be considered ‘small’, I just don’t see how it could be.”

  “-you should be able transfigure this pillow in to a dishtowel.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, James. Did you say something?”

  I let my head fall to the table.

  “Please,” I mumbled in to the surface of the tabletop, “just transfigure the damn pillow already.”

  Surprisingly, Lily must have heard my instructions at sometime or another during her rambling, because she was able to transfigure the pillow on the first try.

  “Good,” I said, examining her work. “Now if you start worrying about Dumbledore again, we have a gag for your mouth.”

  “Well you can turn said gag in to another color for Charms,” Lily replied, waving it in my face. “Come on, Flitwick said it was for homework tonight.”

  I waved my wand and the dishtowel was turned red and gold.

  “There. Now the gag is Gryffindor colors for this Saturday.” 

Here's something some of you probably haven't seen in a while: the first chapter to Deleted Scenes From Harry Potter. Keep in mind that I edited it on FF.net before I submitted it to be published on there, so if you think it's different from how you remember it, it is.

(The first night Harry and the others go to Hogwarts, Percy is telling them where they’ll sleep)

Percy: The boy’s dormitories are upstairs to your left, girls, the same on your right. You’ll find your belongings have already been brought up. Any questions before you go up to bed? (Neville raises his hand)

Neville: Where do we go take showers and baths in this place?

Hermione: Yes, I’ve been wondering that too. The only mention of a place to take baths is in the fourth movie-

Percy: THIS IS THE FIRST MOVIE! As for your question, Neville, you can live without a bath for a while. Just pretend it’s the Middle Ages! It shouldn’t be that hard, I mean, we’re already in a castle. Goodnight! (Runs off to bed before anybody can stop him)

(The very first Potions class, Snape is walking around looking at everybody’s work)

Snape: Damn it, Draco! Why can’t you do anything right? Now (goes over to Neville’s cauldron) look at Neville’s potion! Neville did everything right! Neville is like a freaking perfect student! WHY. CAN’T. YOU. ALL. BE. LIKE. NEVILLE?!

( Flying lesson!)

Madam Hooch: Good afternoon, class.

Class: Good afternoon, Madam Hooch.

Madam Hooch: I really don’t feel like teaching today so everybody just grab a broom and do whatever! I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it!

Hermione: Shouldn’t we at least go over some things about riding a broom? Like how to grip the handle, or mount it, or-

Madam Hooch: JUST GET ON THE DAMN BROOMS!

(Owl post!)

Ron: (looks up) Mail’s here!

Harry: No duh, Sherlock. I could’ve told you that.

Ron: You want to read my copy of the Daily Prophet?

Harry: Sure! Hey, a vault was robbed. Wait a second, wasn’t I supposed to read this stupid article at Hagrid’s?

Ron: Well they change stuff around in the movies, Harry. I bet I’m going to detention in the Forbidden Forest with you, Hermione, and Draco instead of Neville.

Harry: That’s stupid, Ron! Hey, vault 713? That’s the vault Hagrid and I went to when he took me to get my Hogwarts stuff.

Hermione: I bet that the Sorcerer’s Stone was in that vault!

Harry: Hermione! We aren’t supposed to figure that out until later! We’re going to lose our audience if you keep on doing stuff like giving away the plot!

(Christmas morning!)

Ron: HARRY! WAKE UP! (Harry wakes up and runs out to the balcony thing looking over the common room where Ron is standing by a Christmas tree) Happy Christmas, Harry!

Harry: I thought our presents were supposed to be in a big pile at the foot of our beds? Why the Christmas tree?

Ron: Did you learn nothing from the time you read the article about the Stone-I mean the, er, vault? They change stuff in the movies!

Harry: Why?

Ron: How the hell should I know? Just get down here and open your stupid Invisibility Cloak from Dumbledore!

Harry: Hey, I’m not supposed to figure out it was from him till later!

Ron: Just get down here before Dumbledore’s funeral!

Harry: RON! STOP GIVING AWAY THE PLOT AND GETTING RID OF OUR AUDIENCE!

  Later

  Charms

  Prongs, this is bad, Lily knows!

  Does not. You’re jumping to the wrong conclusion.

  What conclusion?

  Padfoot thinks Lily knows where Remus is.

  What’d you tell her?

  I said he was visiting his mother because she was sick. And she nodded thoughtfully. THOUGHTFULLY!

  So…you came to this conclusion because Lily…thinks?

  Yes!

  I think I can speak for both Wormtail and myself when I say this: you’re insane.

  Definitely.

  Fine, laugh, but I swear she knows. I say we kidnap her, take away her wand, and lock her up for life so she can’t tell a soul.

  NO. That does not fall under “treat her like a human, not a flobberworm”.

  Prongs, you’re starting to worry me with your talk of flobberworms.

  It was in the second chapter of that book.

  Oh…she knows!

  Padfoot…shut up.

  Wormtail, judging by the look on his face, your best chance for survival is running for the dormitory once this class is over and hiding there. He should be calm by the time dinner rolls around.

  Doubtful

  Save me!

  After I finish reading this chapter.

  But I could be dead by then.

  What do you know? Those were my intentions.